Being Kids
by SG-Fan
Summary: Returning from a routine mission, SG1 find themselves acting like kids. Hilarity issues. What happened and is it permanent? COMPLETE! In the process of being rewritten!
1. Chapter 1

Takes place in late in Season 7. This idea came from Questionablelight- THANK you!

So, this is dedicated to her and all my faithful reviewers.

* * *

"It's SG-1 IDC, sir."

General Hammond smiled. His top team was returning. "Open the iris!"

It opened and the four walked through, scowling.

"SG-1, are you alright?" General Hammond asked hurrying into the gate room, concern written across his face.

"No, sir, I'm not!" Carter snapped.

"Major Carter?" the General asked bewildered.

"**COLONEL** O'Neill is being mean to me!" She said crossing her arms.

The General glanced over at Jack. "Colonel?"

"She's lying, sir, _she's _being mean to ME!"

"Both of you are brats!" Daniel proclaimed throwing down his backpack. "And I hate those," He said kicking it.

"I wish nourishment immediately!" Teal'c called.

"What's going on?" The General asked helplessly.

Jack pinched Carter, which made her retaliate.

"You two stop it!" He unconsciously ordered.

They froze. "WHY?" Jack demanded.

"Because I said too."

Sam and Jack looked at each other then shrugged/

The gate doors opened and Janet walked in.

"General, Sergeant Harriman summoned me, sir," she said scanning the SG team looking for signs of injuries.

At the sight of her, the four started back.

"Sir?" Janet asked curiously.

"She's mean!" Jack said pointing a finger at Janet.

"She sticks needles in us!" Daniel added.

"General?" Janet repeated. "What's going on?"

He shrugged. "Take them to the infirmary," he ordered some SF's nearby.

All four screamed and dashed away only to be persued by the SF's and dragged forcefully to the infirmary

* * *

"Nothing?" General Hammond hollered, "Look at them!" He demanded, pointing a finger at his fighting team.

Janet sighed. "We've run every test we can, sir, there is just... Nothing"

Carter walked up slowly to the General. "Sir, can we have some ice-cream, PLEASE?" She begged fluttering her eyelashes.

"Doctor?"

"It should be okay-"

"I meant, look at them! They are behaving like children!"

Sam glared at him. "I am not behaving wike a wittle kid!" She protested

General Hammond smiled involuntarily

"Sir?" Janet questioned

"Major Carter could not pronounce the letter 'L' until she was nearly six. It drove her crazy."

"I can to say 'L,'" Sam protested, stamping her foot.

"Major Carter, go sit down" He said firmly.

"No."

He stared at her until she squirmed.

"Fine!" She shouted stomping over to the bed and sitting down.

"It's like their brains have gone back to being five again."

General Hammond shook his head. "Do you think this is contagious?"

Janet looked thoughtful. "I don't think so, sir. They more likely ate or drank something there, that caused this."

He sighed. "I need to go alert the President about this, can you keep an eye on them?" He asked gesturing to them.

She nodded. "Sure, sir."

He sighed again and left the room.

She turned back to them. '_How hard can it be?' _She asked herself.

* * *

Hey, how do you like it? Good, bad, tolerable?

P l e a s e Review!


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you for the reviews!

Enjoy the chapter!

* * *

_Previously on Stargate SG-1..._

He sighed.. "I need to go alert the President about this, can you keep an eye on them?" He asked gesturing to them.

She nodded. "Sure, sir."

He sighed again and left the room.

She turned back to them. _'How hard can it be?' _She asked herself.

_And now the continuation..._

**_

* * *

_**

**_5 minutes later..._**

Janet regretted her words mightily.

"CALM DOWN!" She screamed.

All four stopped their chasing for the moment.

"Why?" Daniel asked curiously.

"Because I told you too."

All four glared at her but reluctantly plopped on the ground, scowling at each other.

"Good." She said, calmer now.

"I'm bored," Jack announced.

"Play with Sam," Shemurmured absentmindedly.

She turned around when all they all started screaming. Daniel and Teal'c held Sam down, as Jack tickled her mercilessly.

"JANET, HELP ME!" Sam screamed.

"Colonel O'Neill, leave Sam alone," She ordered.

"You told me to play with her!" He argued.

She sighed,"That's not what I meant!"

"But you said too!" He wailed.

She sighed again,

"Why don't you.. play... Duck, duck, goose?"

"Yeah!" Sam and Jack cheered.

Daniel and Teal'c looked puzzled."What's duck, duck, goose?" Daniel asked.

Janet stared at him. "You don't know how to play duck, duck, goose?" She asked incredously. I mean after all Daniel WAS from Earth.

He shook his head solemnly.

Janet sighed. "Okay, so you-"

_**Security room.**_

"Hey Tyler, look at this," one of the security guards called.

Tyler sauntered over. "Is that Colonel O'Neill?" He asked amazed.

"Yep."

The two men stared at the computer screen.

"That isn't duck, duck, goose is it?"

"It is."

Tyler whistled. "Make a copy."

_**Infirmary...**_

"You're it."

Janet sighed. 'Goose' had turned into Hide and Seek and then into Tag. She was quickly losing all patience she had-

"Teal'c, GET OFF OF THAT!" sSe screamed rushing over to save her expensive piece of medical equipment.

The boy scowled at her.

"Play with us!" Sam demanded.

She was about to run from the room screaming when one her nurses handed her a folder.

"SG-1's lab results."

"Thank you Staci," She said gratefully.

The nurse nodded and left.

_**Later, General Hammond's office.**_

"There was a foreign chemical in their blood, sir."

"Any idea what it is?"

"No, sir. Right now we are trying to run more tests, but short of actually tying them down, I think it will take a while."

"Do whatever you need too, Doctor."

She nodded. "Yes, sir."

_**Commissary...**_

"No!"

Janet rubbed her eyes. "Sam, you can have the pizza or the lasanga. Not both."

She crossed her arms. "Janet, I'm a growing girl, and I need both!"

Several of the airmen were staring at the two of them. Major Carter throwing a tantrum in the middle of the commissary didn't happen everyday!

Janet shook her head. "You can have pizza, jello, and milk," she saidselecting those items and placing themon a tray. "Now, go sit by Teal'c," She ordered.

Carter stomped off.

Janet quickly selected a salad and grabbed a bottle of water. She heard loud voices coming from the far table at which she had seated them at. Sam had just crowned Teal'c with a stream of milk. He quickly dropped a ice-cube down her back.

Janet sighed. By the look on their faces.. _This meant war! _

_

* * *

_

FOOD fight!

Hope you liked it..

R E V I E W, P L E A S E!


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you for your reviews!

I hope you enjoy the chapter!

* * *

Sam gave Daniel a sickly sweet smile, as she slapped with her slice of pizza. Jack tossed his salad at Teal'c while Daniel threw his spaghetti at Jack.

"Stop!"

They all froze.

"Put your food down."

They glanced at each other and simultaneously threw the remaining food they had at her.

Janet calmly removed the bits of spaghetti off her face. Stepping over to a nearby table, she took a plate of food from him. Slowly and deliberately, she took a handful of food and threw it at them.

SG-1 stared at her then yelled at one, "FOOD FIGHT!"

**_Security Room_**

"TYLER!"

Tyler hurried over. "What, Cade?"

Cade brought up the security camera for the commissary.

Tyler squinted then chuckled. "Food fight?"

"Yep."

"Make a copy of that."

Cade nodded obligingly.

**_Commissary..._**

"Dr. Fraiser!"

Janet suddenly realized what kind of picture she must make. Half the commissary was now engaged in a food fight and she was the ringleader. Her white coat was covered with red and green splotches.

"General Hammond," she said quickly hiding her food.

"Are you sure this isn't contagious?"

She shrugged and tossed the food at him. He stared at her in astonishment

She shrugged again. "Might take time, sir. Food fights require time and careful planning."

He shook his head in disbelief

Janet shook her head. "I'm sorry, General," She said quickly reverting back to her professional self. "I don't know what came over me."

He nodded. "Perhaps you should be checked out." He 'suggested.'

She sighed. "Yes, sir."

**_Infirmary… _**

"She's fine, sir."

General Hammond smiled at the nurse. "Thank you."

She smiled and went back to her duties,

"Are you sure you are all right?" He questioned her.

Janet blushed. She didn't know what had possessed her to join the fight. "Yes, sir." She said quickly.

He eyed her skeptically then left.

She sighed and looked over at the four innocent looking adults.

"What?" they chorused sweetly at her glare.

She sighed then went to change.

_Later…_

_"Life is but a dream, AND, Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a DREAM!" _

"QUIET!" Janet said loudly but firmly.

They glared at her. It was a rather comical sight. All four dressed in their PJ's, and singing at the top of their lungs.

"Bed time," She announced.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" They all protested.

She gave them a warning smile.

"Fine!" Daniel muttered shuffling towards the door, followed by Sam.

"Boys?" Pointedly looking at Teal'c and Jack.

"We are not tired," They said crossing their arms.

She gave them a small smile. "Fine, you can stay up."

They stared at her, glee spread across their faces.

"But you have to help scrub the floor first-"

"NIGHT, JANET," They chirped dashing out of the room.

She grinned. "Night, kids." She called before thinking. After all they _weren't_ kids… they were just _being_ kids.

* * *

Another chapter... I hope you liked it!

REVIEW please!


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you SO much for your reviews!

I hope you like this chapter!

* * *

"Good night, Doctor!"

Janet waved at the nurse then looked around. "O_ne quick check up trip, and to bed I go," _she thought traveling down the halls.

She knocked on Sam's door. No answer. Janet opened the door. It was empty. She quickly headed towards Daniel's room. No answer either and a search of the room proved fruitless and did Jack's room. She was about to try Teal'c room when she heard,

"Shh, Dr. Fraiser will hear us!" One of them whispered, giggling.

Janet stepped out of sight, as the four adults made their way down the hall loaded with coffee, jello, pie, cake and donuts.

They opened Jack's door and shut it. Two minutes later, she heard the faint sounds of Egyptian music coming from the room, along with the sounds of a racing car. Janet had to see what was going on. Heading up to the Security room, she burst in,

"Bring up Camera 24," She ordered.

The man quickly obliged. Janet burst out laughing.

Sam was jumping on the bed while Daniel was dancing to the music. Teal'c was playing Jack's play station while Jack switched between the game boy, cake, and bouncing on the bed with Sam.

"Can you make me a copy of this?" She asked.

The man nodded. She thanked him and left the room.

"I'll be making two," He informed the empty room.

* * *

As much as Janet hated too, she knew if she didn't break up the party, they'd be A. Sick, and B. Tired, which would not be a good thing. She opened the door only to find them all fast asleep except Teal'c who was in the corner of the room kelnoreeming.

"Teal'c? What happened? It only took me a few minutes to get here."

Teal'c opened his eyes. "Dr. Fraiser," He acknowledged. "Upon the music ending, both Samantha Carter and Daniel Jackson 'crashed'. O'Neill soon followed them."

She looked at him. "Teal'c? Are you… normal?"

"I believe I am well once again." He said rising. "And I must apologize for my previous behavior/"

"It's fine, Teal'c," She assured him. "Do any of them act normal?"

Teal'c shook his head. "I believe my symbiote has been fighting this... drug since we first drank it."

Janet stopped. "Wait, wait, wait," She said. "You drank an alien drink?"

"Indeed… Though I am not certain that it was the drink that made us act so."

She looked up at him. "Why would anyone make a drink that made you act like children?"

"Perhaps that was not their intention," Teal'c said thoughtfully.

Janet nodded. "Okay, come with me, I want to run some more tests," She said heading towards the infirmary.

Teal'c reluctantly followed the petite Doctor down the hall.

_Security room…_

"TYLER!"

The man hurried over. "What?"

"Look!"

Tyler stared at the camera. "Oh my god."

Sam and Jack were in a most NOT allowed position... Seeing he was on top of her...

"Call Doc Fraiser!"

* * *

I hope you liked it...

PLEASE review!


	5. Chapter 5

Thank you for reviewing!

Enjoy the chapter!

P.S: This chapter was difficult to write because I wanted to do two completely different things...

* * *

_Previously on Stargate SG-1 _

"TYLER!"

The man hurried over. "What?"

"Look!"

Tyler stared at the camera. "Oh my god."

Sam and Jack were in a most NOT allowed position... seeing he was on top of her...

"Call Doc Fraiser!"

_**And now the continuation... **_

* * *

"Dr. Fraiser!"

Janet looked up. "Yes Lieutenant?"

"You should go to Colonel O'Neill's quarters immediately."

"Why?"

He took a deep breath "Ma'am, they appear to be breaking every regulation rule in the book."

Janet ran.

* * *

"Colonel!"

Jack and Sam didn't move.

"Sam!" Janet tried.

"Take it back Sam," Jack ordered.

With a swift move, Sam was on top of him. "No, you take it back, _JACK_."

"What the hell is going on here?" General Hammond demanded appeared at the door.

"No idea, sir."

Daniel stirred.

"Ok, Lt. Boxer, help me."

"Do what, ma'am?"

"We are going to separate them."

He didn't look thrilled with the plan, but obeyed her direction.

"1, 2, 3, GO!"

The two were pulled away, glaring at each other.

"What the hell is going on, Sam?" Janet demanded.

"He said he could beat me at wrestling," She said with a shrug. "So I wanted to prove I could beat him."

"You didn't," Jack taunted.

"Did too."

"Did not."

Sam freed herself from Janet's grasp. "DID TOO!"

"You two stop it!" General Hammond ordered.

Both lapsed into a sulky silence.

"Doctor? Could I have a word with you?" the General requested.

She nodded and followed him out of the room.

"Doctor, is it just me or are they acting more like teenagers then children?"

"You got me, sir." She said with a slight shrug.

"We are going to have them locked up separately."

"Sir!"

"Doctor, if they get any older and they continue to defy us, we could have a situation on our hands!"

"Sir?"

"You saw them Doctor! What if they hadn't been wrestling? Their careers could very well be over!"

Janet sighed, "With all due respect, I don't see that happening."

"And why is that?" He demanded.

"Well, Daniel's there-" She stopped after seeing his skeptical look. "Sir, I feel that it's better that they be kept together- Teal'c can keep an eye on them."

"He has the same thing as they do!"

Janet smiled. "Not anymore, sir."

"You mean this drug wears off?"

"I'm not sure, sir. Teal'c said that his symbiote was fighting this."

George nodded. "All right. Dismissed."

* * *

"We were just wrestling!" Jack protested .

"How old are you?" Janet asked suddenly.

"12, how old are you?" He shot back.

She laughed. It was the same old Colonel O'Neill.

"Janet, can I go to my lab?"

"Why?" she asked, astonished, turning to Sam.

"I have chocolate there."

Janet shook her head. "Bedtime, NOW!" She said firmly.

"It's 3:00!"

"Exactly."

Grumbling, they prepared for bed.

* * *

**The SGC's infirmary, 7:00 A.M**

"General, I have no idea, they go from acting like five to twelve, I just don't understand it."

Hammond sighed. "These are my best people Doctor. I need them back."

"I know, sir, I'll keep working on it," She paused. "Sir, would you consider sending another team back to-"

General Hammond shook his head. "Until we have exhausted every option, I am not risking another good team."

"Yes, sir."

* * *

**Commissary**

"Come on, Teal'c," Jack pleaded.

"O'Neill, I was told not to let you have any of your Fruit Loops," He said calmly.

"Aww, come on/"

Teal'c placed a bowl of oatmeal on his tray then continued down the aisle/

"I'm not a baby!"

"I did not say you were."

"Oatmeal is for babies," He argued.

"You consumed it quite willingly after our imprisonment in the time loop ended."

"Well-"

"O'Neill, return to your table and eat it."

Jack opened his mouth then deciding it wasn't worth fighting, he went over to his table to sit next to a pouting Daniel.

"What's the matter?" Jack asked curiously.

"He won't let me have any coffee."

"That's tough," Jack agreed.

Sam jogged over, beaming.

"Why are you so happy?" They both growled.

"Teal'c said I could have a donut!" She said holding it up and taking a bite

"You don't like donuts though," they said simultaneously

"I don't?"

"No!"

She shrugged. "I do now!" She said taking a big bite.

"TEAL'C!" They both whined.

* * *

Sorry, I couldn't have them making out. Yet... Anyways, hoped you liked this and I know the 'age' thing might be confusing but it is explained later (I think... jk)

Anyhow, PLEASE review! 


	6. Chapter 6

Aloha!

Thanks for reviewing!

* * *

_Previously on Stargate SG-1_

"You don't like donuts though!" they said simultaneously.

"I don't?"

"No!"

She shrugged. "I do now!" she said taking a big bite.

"TEAL'C!" They both whined

_And now the continuation..._

_

* * *

_

"O'Neill, Daniel Jackson, what concerns you?"

"You let Sam have a donut!" Jack cried "And made me, a tween, eat OATMEAL!"

"Major Carter ate her oatmeal without complaint. I merely rewarded her."

"If you had told me that..." Jack began.

"I rewarded her."

"But-"

"Finish your oatmeal," Teal'c said firmly.

The two boys glared at him and shoveled oatmeal into their mouths.

* * *

"I'm done!"

"You may not have one."

"Ahh, come on."

Teal'c merely stared at him calmly.

Jack stared at him. Suddenly, his manner changed. "FINE!" He yelled, storming out of the room.

"Gross, this is way too many calories," Carter cried, throwing the remainder of her donut in the trash.

Daniel defiantly marched over, grabbed a cup of coffee, and then scurried out of the room.

Teal'c, resigned, followed the three out of the room.

* * *

"Again?" Janet asked as he entered, dragging the reluctant adults in .

"Their behavior reminds me much of Cassandra's during her imprisonment here."

"They are acting like fifteen year olds?"

He nodded.

"More tests," She said amid the groans.

* * *

"We are out of options, sir."

"I can't risk another team, Doctor."

She was silent for a moment. "Let Teal'c take them, sir."

He sighed. "Very well, Doctor."

* * *

"Chevron 7 locked!"

The adults ducked as the whoosh shot out.

"SG-1. you have a go!"

"I don't want too!" Daniel said crossing his arms.

Teal'c slung him over his shoulder as he ushered the other two up the ramp.

"Teal'c, take care of them."

Teal'c nodded and stepped through.

* * *

On the other side, they stepped into what looked like a lab.

"Whoa!" Carter said awed.

"There's nothing 'cool' here so what's the deal?" Jack snapped.

Teal'c released Daniel. "Behave, Daniel Jackson."

"I'm not five!"

"Remain here until my return," He ordered.

"And if we don't?" Sam asked saucily.

"You will regret it."

"Whatever," She said plopping in one of the corners and pulling out a pocket sized book.

**_20 minutes later…_**

"Jaffa!"

Teal'c spun around to see three men dressed all in white standing there.

"Who are you?" He demanded.

"It's the same one- 29876." One of the men said, scrutinizing him carefully.

"Teal'c is what they call him," the second man reminded him.

"Tell me, did your comrades return?" the third one asked.

"They did not." He lied.

"What a pity!" The first one cried.

"Did the experiment work?" the third one asked eagerly.

Teal'c looked at him, puzzled.

"We injected you with Tryam. It should have reduced you to a childlike state. Did it not succeed?"

"It did."

"Fascinating!"

"Undo what you have done to my friends."

They looked at him "Why?" they asked simultaneously "Are they not more useful as children?" one of them asked.

"No."

"Dear me, this is MOST unusual..." 'Three' mused. "We have always found that children suited us better."

"How so?" Teal'c asked.

"We observe their behavior. We place them in controlled environments and do a variety of experiments."

"Is this not immoral?"

They looked shocked "No!" 'One' protested, "We keep them only a few days then return them!"

"Undo what you have done to my friends," He ordered again.

"Dear me, we've never had **_un_**willing subjects," 'Two' said.

The three men shrugged in unison. "Bring them here and we will fix them," they said beaming.

Try as he might, Teal'c could detect no ulterior motive. "I have brought them with me."

They beamed. "Bring them here."

**_Back by the Stargate_**

Sam threw her book across the room. "That was boring, Daniel."

"Is that the Russian and Egyptian handbook I gave you two years ago?"

"Yeah."

He rescued it. "It is NOT boring," He said turning away and scanning the pages eagerly.

Jack wandered over next to Carter. "So, what are we going to do?" He asked nibbling on her ear.

"I've got some ideas," She said kissing him.

* * *

Teal'c hurried into the room he had left his comrades in, to face a sight he had seen only the day before.

Jack was on top of Sam, both were making moaning noises, and doing things that would have them court-martialled, had they been on Earth

"O'NEILL!" he thundered

* * *

I'm bringing this to a close as I have another kid story I want to post.. it's hilarious! ahem, anyways... PLEASE review!


	7. Chapter 7

Thanks for reviewing!

_

* * *

_

_Previously on Stargate SG-1_

Teal'c hurried into the room he had left his comrades in to face a sight he had seen only the day before.

Jack was on top of Sam, both were making moaning noises, and doing things that would have them court-martialled, had they been on Earth

"O'NEILL!" He thundered.

_And now the continuation..._

_

* * *

_

Jack pulled away. "What's up, big man?"

"You know that that is forbidden on your world!" He said scoldingly.

"Is not! Kids make out all the time," Sam said earnestly.

"Daniel Jackson?" he called not seeing the boy. No answer. "Daniel Jackson!"

There was a rustling sound and a tousled head popped up. "Hey!"

"What are you doing, Daniel Jackson?"

"Reading."

"Why did you not inform me of your friends conduct?"

Daniel looked confused. "What? I uh- I was reading! What'd they do?"

"Come with me," He ordered.

The three adults reluctantly followed him.

* * *

"Oh, there they are!" The doctors squealed.

"Uh, who are you?" Jack demanded.

The doctors looked disappointed. "You don't remember us?" They asked, pointing to Sam.

She shook her head.

"Dear me," one of them said sadly. "And you said we were so cute and harmless."

"Let's not go into the past," 'One' said reprovingly. "We must oblige the Jaffa and 'undo' them."

"Prepare the shots!" 'Two' sang out.

"Shots?" the three humans of SG-1 asked.

"Yes, indeed!"

They screamed and scattered.

"See, it triggers a memory of when they were five, fascinating isn't it?" ''Three' said bringing three syringes over.

Teal'c gave the man an annoyed look and went to bring the 'kids' back.

_15 minutes later…_

They sat whimpering on the table as the three Doctor's prepared them for 'normalness'.

"One, two, three," one of the Doctors called as they injected the purplish liquid into SG-1's bodies.

"OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!" They screamed.

"The effect is not instantaneous," One doctor assured Teal'c. "It will take a few hours."

"I thank you."

They grinned at him. "Why was the experiment not a success on you?" 'Three' asked.

"I believe my symbiote was protecting me."

"Fascinating!" 'Two' said. "Might we have it?"

"If I was to give it to you, I would die/"

They drew back. "By all means keep it!" 'Two' said.

"Farewell," Teal'c called.

"Bye Jaffa! Bye Children!" they called waving. Once out of sight, they turned to each other. "They were so nice," 'One' said with a sigh.

"And such good specimens! "Three' muttered.

"Perhaps they will come and visit!" 'Two' said hopefully.

And chatting together, they turned and began working on their experiments once again.

* * *

"How did it go?"

Teal'c released Sam and Jack. "It was a success."

General Hammond eyed the adults. "They look the same."

"It will take a few hours before it will become effective, until this time, I believe it would be best to separate them."

"Why is that?"

"I will inform you later, if I may, General."

He nodded. "Take them to the infirmary."

* * *

_2 hours later..._

"Teal'c, let me out!"

Teal'c opened the peephole. "Major Carter?"

Through it, he could see her blush. "Yes, can you let me out?"

"How can I be certain you are well again?"

She sighed, "I'm fine!"

"Do you recall your previous incidents?"

She hesitated. "No," She said finally.

"I shall summon the doctor."

She nodded and watched him leave.

* * *

_15 minutes later... _

"They're fine, sir."

General Hammond smiled. "Good," he said turning to them. "I have to-"

**_"OFF WORLD ACTIVATION!" _**a voice yelled as sirens went off.

They all ran into the control room.

"Who is it?"

Walter was frowning at the screen. "It's SG-1's IDC, sir."

"Uhh.. Hello." Jack said.

"Perhaps the Doctors are trying to see if their experiment has worked," Teal'c suggested.

"Open the iris."

With that, it spun opened and three figures walked through.

"Greetings!" They called enthusiastically.

General Hammond stared at them as they made their way down the ramp. "Do we need to call security?" he asked in a low voice.

"No, General! We are quite harmless!" They said beaming.

"Wow, they have... good hearing," Sam remarked.

"Thank you, 257505, aka Sammie poo!" 'Two' called.

"SAMMIE-POO?" Jack questioned.

She winced. "My dad."

"We just came to give you the results of our experiment," one of them said handing the a DVD.

Sam stared at it. "You use DVD's?" She asked incredulously.

"Oh, no. We saw that's what you used so we made one. It was quite simple," 'Three' said beaming.

General Hammond looked positively befuddled.

"We are not lunatics," they all said simultaneously. "Anyways, best of luck with the rest of your life!" they cried heading back up the ramp. "Be good children!" 'One' added.

They held out a device, which activated the gate. "Bye!" they called before stepping through.

George watched as the 'gate shut down. "Those are certifiable nutcases," he said firmly.

* * *

Sam inserted the DVD into the player. The screen showed crystal clear colored images.

**On the DVD**

_It showed the gate activating and SG-1 came through. As the gate deactivated. The three doctors came closer. _

_Daniel was greeting them and they said something back. They appeared to be given a tour as they wandered around the facility, the three doctors pointing out things. Sam and Daniel kept whispering things to each other. Suddenly there was sound._

Sam paused it and zoomed in.

_"They seem harmless, sir," Sam was whispering to Jack._

_Jack surveyed the area. ""They're up to something," He said looking around, suspiciously._

_"Why do you say that?" Daniel asked._

_"They're too darn cheerful!"_

_"They could be like that, sir."_

_"Well, I don't know, I think we should-"_

_The three doctors beckoned them over._

The tape went blank for a moment, then suddenly flickered back on.

_The Stargate activated and they walked through. Teal'c appeared to be ordering them to do something then he left. Sam pulled out a book and began to read. _

The tape stopped again then continued

_Sam threw her book and Daniel grabbed it and went behind the Stargate, apparently to read. Suddenly it zoomed in. Sam and Jack were in the corner making out._

Sam paused it. "Sir-" she began desperately.

"Major Carter, please play it," Hammond requested.

She reluctantly hit play.

_The 'making out' continued for about 15 minutes then Teal'c rushed in and pulled them away. The screen suddenly showed the three doctors injecting them with the purple liquid. Just as quickly, it flipped to the three doctors waving good-bye and it ended._

Jack and Sam were scarlet.

"I take it you have no memory of this."

They shook their heads vigorously. "General-" Jack began.

"I believe you, Jack," He assured them. "I trust this won't be shown to anyone else?"

"NO!"

"Good, dismissed!"

Jack and Sam bolted from the room followed by their companions.

General Hammond chuckled and headed into his office and pressed a number. "Mr. President? I have to ask a favor..."

* * *

Tyler rubbed his hands with glee. "And that's a wrap!"

The other security guard nodded. "I'll have the tapes delivered to you later."

"Thanks!"

* * *

Hey! Hoped you liked this chapter! BTW The Doctor's are just to be funny... I've always wanted to a character like that before!

PLEASE review!


	8. Chapter 8

Thank you for reviewing!

Enjoy this chapter!

_

* * *

_

_Previously on Stargate SG-1_

Jack and Sam bolted from the room followed by their companions.

General Hammond chuckled and headed into his office and pressed a number. "Mr. President? I have to ask a favor..."

_And now the continuation..._

_

* * *

_

He put the phone and rubbed his hands with glee.

* * *

Sam ignored the curious glances thrown at her as she hurried to her lab. Flicking on her light, she got to work immediately.

"Carter?"

She started. Her CO was sitting in the corner studying her. "Sir?"

"I wanted to apologize about what happened-"

"Don't sir, it was wonder-" She stopped and looked around.

"You remember." He more stated then asked.

She blushed and barely nodded.

"Me too."

"Really?" She squeaked.

"Yeah."

* * *

General Hammond practically danced into the gate room. "Sergeant, please have everyone assemble in the gate room."

Walter looked startled but began to give the order.

* * *

"Carter, did you lie to-"

"You did too!"

"I-"

**_"Everyone assemble in the control room, this is not a drill, I repeat, this is NOT a drill!"_**

They looked at each other and ran.

* * *

"I'm sure you are wondering why I've called you here."

Everyone nodded.

"Do to the nature of the Stargate Program, the President has decided that regulations concerning other officers..." he paused "will not longer apply to the SGC. Dismissed."

Everyone automatically turned to look at Jack and Sam.

"What?" they asked simultaneously

They continued to stare.

"Oh for cryin' out loud," he muttered.

"Jack?"

"Samantha Carter, will you marry me?"

"Colonel?"

"What?"

Sam stared at him. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"No, I'm not."

"You're not?"

"Just say the damn yes."

She jumped a bit. "Right, yes, I'd love to marry you."

He smiled. "Good, and if ya'll would excuse me," He said scooping Carter up ignoring her squeak of surprise. "I have somewhere to be."

He carried her to her lab then sat her down. They grinned at each other.

"Think we gave the gossip mill something new to chew on?"

"I think we did."

"When do you think Hammond will announce it's the April Fools Day joke?"

Sam sat up. "Oh my god."

"What?"

"He's serious."

"WHAT?"

She clapped her hand over her mouth. "The rumor mill!"

"We are never going to live this down," He moaned.

She shook her head.

"How do you know it not the April Fool joke?" He asked suddenly.

"You'll find out when SG-9 returns."

"Tell me."

"No."

He began tickling her mercilessly.

"Okay, okay, okay" She screamed. "They are going to throw bags and bags of candy through before they enter… and bombard the gate room with snowballs."

"It wil; be frozen though. The candy, I mean."

She jabbed him hard. "You'll be okay."

"Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"I was serious."

" 'bout what?"

"I do want to marry you."

She sat up. "What?"

"I do, I wasn't joking."

She suddenly felt his forehead. "You feel okay," She said dubiously.

He grabbed her hand. "I'm serious."

"Jack, this isn't funny."

He kissed her. Hard.

She pulled away. "Wow."

"Yeah."

"This is going to take time," Sam said.

"Why?"

"You have to ask my dad."

* * *

"Oww!"

"That had better be a joke, O'Neill!"

"I'm not laughing."

Jacob released him. "You retiring?"

"No."

Jacob's glowed.

"Frat rules have changed," He said hastily.

Jacob stared at him incredulously. "I've had Sam tell me better stories then that when she was two."

"It's true!"

"Prove it."

"I can't."

"HA!"

"Dad?"

Jacob froze as Jack stood up and dusted himself off.

"Dad, where are you?"

"In here, Sam."

She appeared at the door. "Finally! You come to visit and the first thing you do is wandering off to talk to Ja-er the Colonel."

"I hear the frat rules are gone," Jacob began trying to sound casual.

"Yes, Daddy, isn't it wonderful?"

Jacob stared at his daughter. She was being so.. sweet... not that she wasn't a sweet person, but DADDY? she hadn't called him that since she was 15. "Okay, what do you want?"

"You to say yes"

"To what?"

"Jack."

He sighed. "Sam, you could marry the President of the United States!"

"I don't want him, I want Jack," She paused. "Besides, he's married."

"What?" Jacob and Jack said outraged. "I'm not!" Jack protested, after seeing the scary glance Jacob threw at him.

"I meant the President."

"Oh."

"Dad?"

He sighed again. "Okay, but Jack, if you-"

"NO!" Sam cut in. "Come on, Dad, I'll buy you a large cappuccino," she said threading her arm through his and dragging him to the elevator.

Jack just shook his head. "That's Sam."

* * *

"Dad!"

"Sam, of all the guys, why a man who is 15 years older then you?"

She shrugged. "I love him, Dad."

"I suppose I have to pay for the wedding."

She shrugged.

He threw he his debit card. "8755."

"Your PIN?"

"Yeah."

"Thanks, Dad." She said giving him a quick hug

"Sam?"

Sam looked up. "Pete?"

"Hey, how ya doing?"

"What are you doing in Colorado Springs?" She asked.

"Is this your father?" he asked, turning to face Jacob.

"Yes," She said. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm glad to meet you, sir," He said holding out his hand. "I've heard a lot about you."

"And I not a single thing about you," Jacob replied, barely shaking the mans hand.

Pete forced a smile. "I thought you lived 'off-world?'"

"I do," He said after looking at Sam who gave him a slight nod.

"So what brings you to town"

Jacob looked over at his daughter then back. "Celebrating my daughters engagement."

Pete swallowed hard. "So, you're getting married?"

"Yes."

"To whom?"

"A man at my work."

"That Daniel guy?"

"NO!"

"O'Neill?"

She stared at him. "It's actually none of your business, but yes, it is Jack O'Neill."

A look of pain flashed across his face but he quickly regained control of his expression. "Congratulations."

"Thanks."

His pager went off. "Uh, I have to get back to my office, see you later Sam."

"Bye Pete," She said softly.

He touched her shoulder then hurried off.

"DAD!" she scolded as soon as he was out of hearing distance. "You shouldn't have done it."

"He deserved it."

"That was cruel."

"I thought it was funny."

"To hurt someone."

"No, to stop an idiot from making eyes at my daughter."

Her cell phone rang. She pulled it out and answered it. "Carter." She nodded. "Yes, sir, as soon as I can." she hung up. "The computer system isn't allowing the iris to close."

"Ok, let's go,"

"Will you pay, Dad?" She asked tossing him a 10. He nodded and left. She headed out to the car.

Pete was about to leave when he saw Sam hurry out to her gray Volvo. He walked over. "Sam?"

"Pete?"

"I just wanted to wish you good luck."

She scrutinized him carefully then nodded. "Thank you."

"And if you ever need to talk, you know my number."

She gave him a quick hug. "Have a good life."

"You too."

"Ready, Sam?" Her dad called.

Sam gave him an apologetic smile and left.

He sighed. There went his hopes and dreams.

* * *

"There, sir."

General Hammond looked extremely relieved to have control of the system again.

"Dismissed."

"Carter!"

"Hey, sir."

"How'd the talk go?"

"Okay, until Pete came over."

"Pete?"

* * *

Ya like it? Sorry if this chapter seems... 'Weird' but it wrote itself!

Well... PLEASE REVIEW!


	9. Chapter 9

**Thanks for reviewing! **

Enjoy the chapter!

**

* * *

**

_Previously on Stargate SG-1…_

"There, sir."

General Hammond looked relieved to have control of the system again.

"Dismissed."

"Carter!"

"Hey, sir."

"How'd the talk go?"

"Okay, until Pete came over."

"Pete?"

_And now the continuation..._

* * *

"Pete? Pete Shanahan, the stalker cop you dated for a while?"

"He wasn't a stalker-"

"He followed you around and did a background check on you!"

"HE'S A COP!"

"So?"

"Cops do that!"

All of the sudden, they burst into laughter. At the exact same time the gate activated...

The iris spun open and one of the doctors walked through, beaming.

Jack could have sworn General Hammond was about to go crazy the moment he saw the man!

"Hammie, my old friend!" 'Two' called waving cheerily.

General Hammond released a sigh. "What can I do for you?"

"Just came to give you the rest of our experiment," He handing him two more DVD's. "And we hope you'll visit soon," he said with a giggle as he left.

General Hammond hurried into his office. "That man gives me a headache," he grumbled inserting one of the DVD's into the player.

_10 minutes later_

General Hammond left his office still laughing

* * *

"8 months?"

"So it's now or then."

"Dad, couldn't you-"

"I have to leave in two weeks. I need an answer by tomorrow."

Sam sighed. "Let me talk to Jack."

* * *

"2 WEEKS?"

"We could wait eight months, sir."

"8 MONTHS?"

"Yeah."

Jack buried his face into his hands. "Whoa."

"Jack, we can wait the eight months."

"I know."

"But...?"

Jack looked at her. "I don't WANT to wait eight months. I was thinking more like four but... now or later... heck, I'll take now."

She stared into his eyes. "You sure? Remember, Dad doesn't allow for divorce," she said on a more serious note.

"Yeah, I'm sure."

She grinned and kissed him.

* * *

"Sam, the blue is more becoming."

Sam frowned. "You have no taste."

"I do too. Black reveals… stuff... blue is tasteful, sets off your eyes and you won't be wearing it long, anyways."

"JANET!"

Her friend looked at her unrepentantly.

"Why not both?" Cassie asked.

They stared at her. "WE HAVE A BUDDING GENIUS AMONG US!" Sam called.

"Sam!" Cassie protested looking around to make no one was watching them.

Janet and Sam exchanged giggles.

Cassie rolled her eyes. "Come on, we have13 days until Sam's wedding. We hired a church and a decorator so that's done. Daniel's doing photos, food is taken care of, I think we have it all…"

"Except the clothes," Sam reminded her.

"And lingerie..."

"Cassandra Fraiser!"

She grinned. "That's my name, don't wear out it out!" she called cheekily pushing the cart ahead.

"That girl," Sam muttered.

* * *

"No, we need a size bigger."

The salesman looked at Teal'c. "I'm sure we can find something," he managed to say hurrying into the backroom.

The three men grinned at each other. "Go try one on," Daniel said looking at Jack.

"I'm wearing my dress blues," He protested.

"Why is it that I may not wear my 'suit' that you provided me with when we believed Daniel Jackson to be dead?"

"That was over six years ago," Daniel protested.

The salesman hurried back in. "Will this do?" he asked.

"No," Teal'c said after careful inspection.

The hassled salesman hurried off again...

* * *

"Tyler, I have a great idea," Will began, looking over at the man.

Tyler listened then nodded. "I like it..."

* * *

"O'Neill, I would have to gain many pounds in order to wear this," Teal'c objected.

"Buddy, I'm sure someone can fix it," Jack insisted.

Teal'c sighed. "This will do."

The salesman sighed with relief. "Great! Just come with me..."

* * *

"No!"

"Come on Mom! Purple is so the rage!"

Janet eyed the dress. "I'm. Not. Wearing. _That._"

"Wanna bet?" Cassie asked pushing her mom into the dressing room.

Janet sighed.

* * *

_An hour later..._

"So what did you girls get?" Daniel asked.

"Nothing," they all said simultaneous.ly.

Jack stared pointedly at the bags

"We grabbed a few things..." Sam said in a casual tone.

* * *

_Ten days flew by... things were going smoothly... there was only one problem_

"He's not going to dress as a girl! He doesn't even wear clothes!"

"Sam, we have to invite him."

"I know, but we'll have to think of a different disguise for him."

Sam sighed. "Yeah, I guess. But how do you disguise a naked alien without hurting his feelings?"

* * *

Thor eyed the small tuxedo. "Is this not meant for the Earth children?"

"Uh, yeah, anyways, everybody is wearing them to the wedding, and we thought we'd bring you once since you guys don't seem to have... clothes..." Jack began refusing to meet Thor's bright, black eyes.

"You wish me to 'blend' in, O'Neill?"

"It's not us, it's the-"

"I understand," Thor began. "How does one put this one?"

Jack suppressed a chuckle "Well, you..."

* * *

"Success!"

Sam stared at him. "He's going to wear it?"

Jack nodded. "Showed him how to put it on and everything."

"Did you get a picture?"

He nodded and showed her the digital camera. She looked at the picture and burst out laughing.

* * *

Mark leaned against the wall and watched the wedding rehearsal

"No, sweetie, leave the petals there."

Elizabeth looked at her. "Mom says we always have to pick up our stuff when we're done!"

Allison Carter hurried over. "It's okay _THIS _time sweetie," she assured her.

The seven year old shrugged and tossed her thick, blond braid. "Can we do it again, Aunt Sam?"

Sam nodded.

Jack, Teal'c, Daniel and General Hammond quickly took their places. The music began and Janet, Cassie and Allison began their walk up the aisle. Timmy Carter walked up the aisle proudly holding the cushion with the two rings. Elizabeth began to sprinkle the petals. She demurely walked up then stood by Cassie with whom she was already fast friends. Carter and Jacob began their walk. The 'mock' ceremony began; ending with Jack escorting Sam away, followed Elizabeth and Timmy holding hands while the various men escorted the ladies.

"Good job!" Sam praised.

"Thanks, Aunt Sam," they both chirped. "Can we go to your house now?"

"Why?" she asked curiously.

"You have chocolate ice-cream! That's our favorite!" Timmy said with a toothy smile.

"I know, I bought it just for you," she said picking up the boy and swinging him around.

"My turn, Aunt Sam!" Elizabeth cried.

Jack grabbed her and swung her around, high and fast. "Was that fun?" he asked setting down the little girl.

"Oh, yes, Mr. O'Neill!"

"Will you me a favor?"

"If I can."

"Will you call me Uncle Jack?"

"May I, Daddy?"

Mark gave a little sigh. This O'Neill fellow was all wrong for his sister. Pete was a great guy, why couldn't she have stuck with him? He gave a quick nod to his daughter.

"Are we ready to go?" Cassie asked.

Everyone nodded.

"Let's hit the road then!"

* * *

The wedding's soon!

Please review!


	10. Chapter 10

I love you, people!

Hope you like this chapter!

* * *

_Previously on Stargate SG-1_

"Will you call me Uncle Jack?"

"May I, Daddy?"

Mark gave a little sigh. This O'Neill fellow was all wrong for his sister. Pete was a great guy, why couldn't she have stuck with him? He gave a quick nod to his daughter.

"Are we ready to go?" Cassie asked.

Everyone nodded.

"Let's hit the road then!"

_And now the continuation..._

* * *

"... And she challenges me to arm wrestle… " Jack stopped and smiled at his blushing fiancée.

"You were-" she began when Daniel interrupted.

"Did you really challenge him, Sam?" She nodded

"I missed all the good stuff," He complained.

"Where were you?" Mark asked pointedly.

Daniel paused. "With my wife," He said slowly.

"Where is your wife?" Mark asked. "I'd like to meet her."

Daniel looked at his plate. "She died, several years ago."

Mark looked ashamed of himself. "I'm sorry."

Daniel nodded and looked down at Timmy who was at his side, tugging his sleeve. "Yes?"

"Mr. Jack said you said you know lots of cool games and stuff!"

'Did he?" Daniel said looking over at Jack

"Does a bird really stand for a hundred thousand in Egyptian?"

"Yeah."

"Cool!"

"May we be excused?" Elizabeth asked.

Allison eyed the little girls plate. "Finish your salad first."

The little girl sighed then began on it.

"Sam, your cooking has improved," Mark commented looking across the table.

Sam flushed and looked over at her niece. "You okay?" she asked trying to distract them.

"Cooking?" Jack asked curiously

"When she was 11, she decided to try to make spaghetti for dinner. We ended having to call the fire department to put out the fire she had started 'accidentally'. "

"Are you talking about Sam's cooking?" Jacob asked from the other end of the table.

Sam groaned as the rest of the table began laughing...

* * *

**10 minutes later..**

"I could cook cakes!" she protested.

"That's the ONLY thing she could cook until she was 20-"

"19."

"Whatever."

The whole table was laughing except for Sam, Teal'c and little Timmy.

"What's the matter, buddy?" Mark asked seeing the look of panic on his son's face.

"Did Aunt Sam really poison her cake?"

"Accidentally, but yes, why?"

"CAUSE I ATE SOME!"

It took a moment for Sam to register what he was saying. "You ate some of my cake, the white one in the kitchen?" she asked.

He nodded. "I didn't know it was poisonous!" He wailed.

Amid the laughter, Allison explained to her panicked son that the cake was NOT poisonous...

* * *

"Time for bed!" Allison called

"Mom! We haven't romped yet!" they both protested.

"Romped?" Sam asked her brother.

"We play a game like hide and seek then a quick board game, then prayers and off to bed." He explained.

"Ok, let's romp!" She said jumping up/ "What do you want to play?"

"Puss wants corner!"

_20 minutes later..._

"The kitten wishes to seek a corner of the room," Teal'c called dashing for the corner/

There was a mad scramble as people ran to designated corners.

The majority of the furniture had been shoved into the kitchen while the rest had been placed in the hallway. The bare room had chalk circles on the floor. There were nine of them, 2 on each side of the room, and one in front of the doorway.

Daniel was left in the middle. "Poor Puss wants a corner!"

_30 minutes later..._

Jack stared at the multi colored game. He rolled the dice and crowed. "I won!"

Elizabeth, Sam and Teal'c all looked relieved.

"What?" he asked.

Elizabeth rolled her eyes and turned around to see Daniel win Candy Land. "Yay, Uncle Daniel!"

Daniel grinned, "Who won Chutes and Ladders?" He asked.

"I did," Jack bragged.

"Okay, kids, upstairs now!" Allison called.

The children quickly said their good-nights then dashed up the stairs.

"I'm gonna turn in," Daniel said. "Coming, Teal'c?"

"Indeed. Good night Mark Carter, General Carter, O'Neill, Major Carter," he said following the archeologist out of the room.

"Night, Teal'c!" they called.

Mark stood up. "I'm gonna go to bed too, night Sam," He said giving her a quick hug "Night Dad, Jack."

"Aunt Sam!" a voice called. She smiled at Jack then hurried out of the room.

Soon Jacob and Jack were left alone. Jacob was studying Jack closely.

"Yes?" Jack asked, finally exasperated.

"You be good to my girl Jack," he said finally.

"I will."

He nodded. "_Autcha_."

"Excuse me?"

"Goa'uld." Jacob explained, "It means later."

"Right."

* * *

Sam and Jack sat cuddled up on the couch, just content to hold each other. Slowly Sam drifted off to sleep, soon followed by Jack.

* * *

"HAPPY WEDDING DAY!" two excited voices called

Sam woke up, startled. She was on her bed. She smiled. Jack had tucked her in her bed... she loved that man.

"AUNT SAM!" Timmy protested. "You's getting mawwied today!"

"He lost a tooth," Elizabeth explained. "That's why he sounds funny."

"And Unca Teal'c bwught us donuts for bweakfust!"

Sam giggled a bit. Timmy sounded so cute with his 'little kid' voice. "Okay, let's go make sure he saves us some," she said pushing back her blanket. "Just let me get dressed and showered, and I'll meet you down there."

"Okay!"

She grinned and headed into the bathroom.

* * *

"Wow."

Sam blushed. "What?"

"You look great, Sam!"

Sam blush deepened. "Thanks Daniel. Teal'c, did you get me a Danish?"

Teal'c handed the small bag over.

"Thanks," she said practically inhaling it.

"Hungry, Carter?" Jack asked hurrying into the kitchen.

"Starving."

He kissed the top of her head. "Sleep okay?" he whispered.

She nodded. "Thanks, sir."

He stared at her.

"Jack," she hastily corrected.

He smiled at her and hurried away.

* * *

Breakfast was over; Mark and Allison were loading the car up. They were going to attend the wedding then drive home. Jack, Daniel, and Teal'c had already left for the church...

"DAD!"

"I'm coming, Samantha!" An annoyed voice floated down the stairs.

Sam sighed. "We only have and hour and a half, and the church over at least fifteen minutes away!"

The man hurried down the stairs. "Selmak didn't like my bowtie. She says white is impractical."

"It's black though," She said staring at her dad's suit.

"I changed."

She rolled her eyes. "Come on, let's go."

"After you, my lady."

* * *

**At the church...**

"Sam was suppose to be here an half hour ago," Jack muttered.

Daniel nodded. "The wedding starts in thirty-five minutes."

Jack sighed. "C'mon, Sam!"

* * *

**15 minutes later...**

She wasn't answering her cell-phone. Her room was torn apart, clothes and stuff all over the place. Jacob's car was missing, as was he and Sam. Jack was worried. Very worried

* * *

"I love cliffies in the springtime.. every moment-" ahem..

Hope ya liked it and PLEASE review!


	11. Chapter 11

Hello!

Thank you for reviewing, and enjoy the chapter!

* * *

_Previously on Stargate SG-1…_

**At the church...**

"Sam was suppose to be here an half hour ago," Jack muttered.

Daniel nodded. "The wedding starts in thirty-five minutes."

Jack sighed. "C'mon, Sam!"

-

**15 minutes later... **

She wasn't answering her cell-phone. Her room was torn apart, clothes and stuff all over the place. Jacob's car was missing, as was he and Sam. Jack was worried. Very worried.

_And now the continuation..._

* * *

"Dad!"

The car in front of them spun around a few times and then screeched to a halt.

Sam gasped. "Are they okay?"

"Are _you_ okay?" Jacob asked.

"Dad, come on, we have to help them!" Sam said unbuckling herself and opening the door. Unknown to her, her purse fell out.

"Ok, back it up a bit, Dad," she directed. Jacob obliged.

Sam and Jacob hurried over to the small mini van. The occupants were hurrying out. A man, a woman and a disgruntled looked teenager.

"I'm sorry, are you okay?" Jacob asked a bit annoyed. They had just appeared around the corner out of nowhere. He hated reckless drivers.

"No hablo inglésm" the driver said throwing his arms in the air and gesturing wildly,

"Of COURSE notm" Jacob muttered. "Sam, go call the police!"

She nodded and ran over to the car. The wheel was on top of her purse- which contained her cell phone of course.

"Oh for cryin' out loud!"

* * *

"Agent Barrett."

"Malcolm, this is Daniel Jackson."

The agent shifted the phone to his other shoulde.r "Dr. Jackson? What can I do for you?" He asked cordially.

"Do you know of any rouge N.I.D operations running right now?"

"May I ask why?"

"Samantha Carter is missing. No one can contact her, her house was trashed and she is over an hour late."

"For what?"

"Her wedding."

Agent Barrett frowned "She's not marrying that stupid cop guy she was dating a while back is she? That guy is a total loser."

"No."

"So. who's the lucky guy?"

"Jack."

"COLONEL O'NEILL?"

"Yeah/"

"Uhh.. wow, anyways, you think one of the rouge groups grabbed her?"

Daniel nodded then realized that he couldn't see him. "Yes."

"Well, I'll do some checking, but I don't think there are any groups working in this vicinity."

Daniel sighed. "Thanks."

* * *

"Y usted idiotas..."

Sam rolled her eyes and cut in. "We looked before we went." She said in Spanish. "You didn't stop!"

The man stilled. "¿Usted sabe español?"

"Si."

He sighed. "Llamaré a policía" He said heading off to his van.

"What'd he say?"

"He's going to call the police for us."

"Ahh."

* * *

"Dr. Jackson, this is Malcolm Barrett," a crackly voice said .

Daniel clutched the cell phone. "Did you..."

"I'm sorry, Dr. Jackson, there is no rouge groups operating near Colorado Springs."

"Are you sure? I mean, we've traced the route that we believe that they most likely went and there is.. nothing."

"I'm sorry."

"Thanks for your help," with that he hung up and dialed Jack. "Hey, it's Daniel."

"Daniel, did they-"

"No."

Silence.

"DAMN IT!"

"Jack, maybe we should start calling hospitals."

"Go ahead, I'm going to go over the streets with Teal'c again."

* * *

"Pete?"

The officer looked up. "Sam? Are you okay? We heard there was an accident, the station was short handed so they sent me out-"

The Spanish man cut in, talking rapidly.

* * *

Jack turned the corner. That was Jacob's car! A police car was nearby it. He parked and hurried over.

* * *

"And he just pulled in front of us-"

The man protested that but was quickly silenced.

"Sam!"

Carter turned to see her fiancée jogging towards her. "Jack?" she cried, "What are you doing here?"

"Are you okay?" he demanded.

"The wedding! Oh god, I'm so sorry! My phone got run over and Dad hit that car, I just-"

"Are you okay?"

"And we had to wait for the officers to get here…"

Jack stood next to her. "Samantha Carter, are you okay?" he asked looking into her eye.s

She threw her arms around him. "I'm fine, Jack."

* * *

Pete stared at Jack enviously. He wanted to be the man she was hugging. He quietly told the man he was free to go and with a slight nod to Jacob, he drove off quietly.

* * *

**_Half hour later..._**

Safe at the church, Sam was surrounded by anxious people. After assuring them she was fine, the wedding continued...

The music began.

It began perfectly. It was only when the Pastor said, "Do you have a ring?" the problem began.

Timmy was holding the cushion. At the word 'ring', he perked up and headed towards Jack. Right before he reached Jack, he tripped... sending the rings flying.

The boy stared as the rings disappeared under the rows of chairs. "I'm sorry!" He cried.

Jack smiled down at him and announced, "We are having a ring hunt!"

Instantly, everyone was on his or her knees, searching...

* * *

Timmy sat on the steps and stared glumly at the people searching for the rings. Aunt Sam was going to be so mad at him. He sighed .

"What's up Tim man?" a voice asked gaily as he felt himself being lifted up.

He looked up and saw his aunt's face looking at him. "Aunt Sam, I'm so sorry!" He began. "I didn't mean-"

"It's okay, come on, help me find them?" she interrupted, holding out her hand.

He took her hand and joined the search.

"FOUND ONE!" two voices called simultaneously. Allison and Jacob looked at each other and laughed, holding up the rings.

The ceremony resumed and was quickly over.

_"... you may kiss the bride..."_

Jack and Sam began kissing. A few moments later, Jack pulled away and looked down. "What?" he asked slightly annoyed. He had been waiting to kiss Sam since that whole time loop incident!

"That's gross! Go do it somewhere else!" Timmy demanded amid his mom's horrified whispered, "Timmy!"

Sam giggled. "Okay, Timmy, we'll go.. do it somewhere else..." she called over her shoulder.

Allison glared at her son.

"What, Mom?" Sam and Jack heard a voice call as they entered the reception room.

**_An hour and half later..._**

"And now the Father-Daughter dance," Cassie called who called herself: 'The unofficial wedding planner'.

Jacob pulled his reluctant daughter on to the floor. As they waltzed, Sam got a lump in her throat. She was no longer a Carter; her dad no longer did not have a higher claim on her affections. She sighed.

"You okay, Sammie?"

"Yeah Dad."

"I love you, Sam."

She blinked backed a tear. "I love you too, Dad."

He twirled her and beckoned Jack to take his place. Jack obeyed quickly.

Sam looked at her partner. "Hey."

"Hey, yourself."

She smiled at him and continued to waltz.

"Ready to go?" he asked.

She nodded. "Yeah."

**Stargate Command.**

"We'll check in tomorrow afternoon about eighteen hundred, sir," Jack said to General Hammond

"I was under the impression that Thor was attending the wedding."

"I was too," Jack said, a bit regretful. He had been planning to take many pictures. "I'm sure he has an..." and with that, they were beamed away.

"Thor never misses a cue," General Hammond said with a slight shake of his head. "Shut it down" he called.

**Thor's ship.**

"O'Neill, I apologize for my absence," Thor began the instant they appeared on the ship. "I was unsure where I was to put this", he said gesturing to the bowtie. "I know it is the custom of the humans to put such 'bows' in one's 'hair' but I have no such..."

Sam and Jack exchanged incredulous glances. "You skipped the wedding because you didn't know how to put it on?" Sam asked slowly.

He nodded.

"Here, I'll show you," she said deftly clipping it on.

"I am sorry that I missed this occasion," He said rather mournfully.

"Me too, but, there is always a next time," Jack said without thinking.

"If there is one O'Neill, I shall not be attending" Thor said walking away

"No, wait, Thor, I meant there are other weddings, I-"

"Jack, you're digging yourself a bigger hole," Sam said with a giggle. "Thor, can you drop us off at 9X2-955?"

He nodded. "It would be my honor."

**10 minutes later...**

"Here, you are Major O'Neill, Colonel O'Neill."

Sam, on an impulse, hugged the little alien. "Thanks," she whispered.

"Enjoy your intercourse!" Thor called.

"What?" they both asked, outraged.

"It is the custom of humans to-"

"Yes Thor, we know," Jack said hastily. "Bye!"

Thor shrugged slightly and beamed them down.

**9X2-955**

Jack stared at package on their 'bed' they had brought over a few days ago.

"You open it," Sam said nudging him.

"You."

"You."

She smiled at him.

He reluctantly ripped the paper off and there sat several DVD's and a note that read...

_To the O'Neill's..._

_A wedding present!_

_Tyler, Mike, Will, Cade, Janet, and General Hammond._

_P.S: ENJOY!_

He looked around the tent and spotted a small TV. He looked over at Sam. "Wanna watch one?"

She shrugged. "Sure."

_20 minutes later…_

"We are never going to live that down!" she moaned, watching herself jump on the bed.

He looked over at her and turned the DVD off. "We can watch the rest tomorrow," he said after she protested mildly.

"Yeah..."

**The SGC…**

"Turn that off," General Hammond ordered.

Tyler reluctantly stopped recording.

"Good night, Tyler," General Hammond said before leaving.

Will and Tyler waited until he was out of the room to break out in laughter.

"Their expressions were priceless!" Will said still chuckling.

"Yeah."

"Gonna hit the hay," Will said rising up.

"All right, night!"

Tyler waited until Will had left to flip the camera back on. His eyes widened and he quickly turned it back off. "My, that was...hot" he muttered placing his heels on the desk.

* * *

Well.. they are married... I think I'm gonna do one more chapter.. hoped ya liked it and that it didn't seem to rushed and.. once again, I hoped you liked it!

PLEASE review!


	12. The Epilouge

The epilogue!

I hope you like it.

* * *

Jack and Samantha Carter returned to the base three days later, ready for work. Two happy, long years later, Sam announced she was pregnant. Jack was slightly unsure about being a father again… it didn't help when he found out he would be a father of two...

9 months later, Jason and Cassandra O'Neill were born to their doting parents. Both twins had Naquadah in their blood and were able to operate Goa'uld technology since they were very young.

Three more years past, the twins grew like weeds. On the base all week, Jack and Sam still did everything in their power to keep their kids happy. They started their 'scholastic' studies at two and a half. They were able to read simple books, knew their colors, could count to fifty and knew all the continents both on Earth and on the Alpha site.

**_Three months later..._**

The O'Neill's were having a picnic on top of Cheyenne Mountain with Teal'c, Daniel, and Belle, the O'Neill's faithful dog. Currently Daniel and Teal'c were busy chasing the O'Neill twins.

"Jack?" Sam asked.

"Yeah?"

"To think this started because we acted liked kids."

He raised himself on her elbow. "Did we send those Doctors a DVD of the kids?"

"Yes, Jack."

Jack looked proudly at his two children. "Fast little buggers aren't they?" He said proudly.

"Yes, Jack."

"We have the two best children in the Universe."

"_Three_ best children," She corrected.

"Sam, we only have..." He stopped. "Three?"

"Yes, Jack."

"Boy or Girl?"

"Janet thinks it's a boy."

"When?"

"7 months."

Jack whooped so loudly that Teal'c and Daniel turned and looked up to see if everything was okay.

"We're good!" He called.

They nodded.

"Baby Mark...".

"Or.. it could be a little Krystal," Sam cautioned

He grinned and carried her inside the mountain into their bedroom.

The next scene is rated R so I'll skip it... but, anyways...

Later that night...

The twins were tucked in, dreaming about whatever three years old dream. Jack and Sam were lying on their bed. Sam was almost asleep. Jack was stroking her hair. He bent down and kissed her forehead. "And to think this started from Being Kids," he whispered. Sam gave him a sleepy smile and both fell asleep.

* * *

Short but sweet.. (right?)

I hoped you liked this and thanks for reading this story! I've hoped you've enjoyed reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it!


End file.
